Gracious.
What does it mean to be gracious?
Accommodating.
Compassionate.
Considerate.
Courteous.
Big-hearted.
Chivalrous.
Is gracious the same as polite? I don’t think so. Polite is doing ‘as you should’ according to the unwritten laws that govern social graces. It is a black and white thing that people do often without thinking. The words “Thank you” are immediately mirrored with “You’re welcome,” in reflex-like format. The person ahead of you holds the door open as you enter the threshold because it’s a nice thing to do. Your co-worker greets you with “How are you?” and you responding without thinking twice, “Great, and you?”
Politeness is expected and reflexive and subconscious. It’s nice and it feels good, but it’s superficial.
Graciousness, on the other hand, comes from the heart. It requires that the heart have an overflow of positive energy to pass on to another person without regard for self.
Last night’s Oscars presentation of Best Picture is a real-life illustration of just how graciousness is done. Jordan Horowitz has just accepted the Oscar for Best Picture, La La Land, when he stops the presentation to announce “No, there is a mistake. Moonlight, you guys won Best Picture.”
After a moment of bustling confusion on stage, he again pushes towards the microphone and remarks “I am really proud to hand this to my friends at Moonlight.”
Horowitz could have used this moment on stage to make this awkward juncture even worse by highlighting the error and making his disappointment a momentary object-lesson. Additionally, he could have made a spectacle of Warren Beatty and Faye Dunaway, the announcers, or slighted the organizers of the Oscars, but instead he chose to transfer the spotlight off of himself and onto the rightful winners – the cast and crew of Moonlight. That is graciousness, right there.
If you want to do recognition right, your presenters need to also DO graciousness. Otherwise you will only be polite and miss an opportunity to make a real heartfelt difference to the award winner. Imagine for a moment if Horowitz would have made his disappointment more apparent. No one would blame him for being disappointed or feeling hurt due to the mistake. Onlookers would emphasize and politely say, “I am so sorry for your loss.” His hurt would be what was making news this morning rather than the awesomeness that Best Picture, Moonlight, brought to the stage.
Graciousness is the overflow of positive energy that can be passed to a winner at the moment of recognition. It’s intangible and emotional and can’t be scripted. It is the thing that can only be felt by the winner. It’s passed on via eye contact, body language, and an earnest wanting for the recipient to feel special. Horowitz does it when he has excitement as he says, “Wait, there’s been a mistake…” His excitement is for the winner; he chooses the positive response. That is the picture of graciousness.
Recognition presenters can practice doing this so that their words and presentation skills go hand in hand to deliver the best results possible when a mix up occurs. Presenters should prepare for errors and how they will handle themselves. They should think ahead and be ready for unscripted times so that they have a natural, human response that transfers positive energy forward. These simple steps can be used to train recognition presenters or you can just do what Horowitz did!
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